Black Tear Drops
by Gummy Rocks
Summary: Couldn't he have taken pity on his daughter's soul one more time?


I sat outside the infirmary, having to endure the eerie silence. My head felt like it was going to explode, with possibilities. What if she didn't make it? What if the poison got too far? What if she were to die? I mentally slapped myself. I can't let myself think about the negatives in a situation like this. I should be thinking positive thoughts. My Thalia will get through this. It was just poison in a knife. She has been through hell and back, so something as simple as poison on a knife should be a piece of cake. Next week, we will go see that movie she wanted to see. I think I will buy her the car she has always wanted. You know that Mustang, GT Cope. Someday, we will look back at this and laugh, about how reckless she was, and how bad of a boyfriend I was. She will say she should have been paying attention, and not being so cocky. I will say, I should have been there to protect her. When we are even older, I might just ask her to marry me, and then I will buy that house she always admired. I knew I mean know she will get it, even if she has to do it herself. Well, she has money. I looked up, watching the door of the infirmity. Waiting for Chiron to come out, to tell me the good news that they got the poison out that she would be alright. After staring at that white door, for what seemed like ages, I got up to stretch. I looked around camp. Everything was quiet. No activities were going on today. It was weird to see Camp, with no commotion. I turned around to face the door, when it swung open. Chiron came trotting out, with a face of pure defeat. When he spoke, his voice was raspy and tired.

"She wishes to speak to you." I nodded, afraid to trust my voice of fear it would crack. Before I went to walk in, Chiron put a hand on my shoulder.

"She is not the same, beware of that. Also keep it short, she needs her rest." He gave me a stern nod. I just nodded back, knowing I couldn't speak. I walked in to the infirmity and idmitatly spotted her. She was in the far left corner. It took two strides to reach her. When I was standing above her, her eyes flew open. It took all my might not to cringe. She looked so fragile. Her skin was pale; her bones were visible under the shirts. Her eyes didn't have the same spark that they usual did. Under her eyes there were black circles. The worst part about it was, I could feel her dying. That was the curse with being the son of Hades. You know when someone is dying. In this case, I could feel the love of my life, leaving me behind.

"Hey Thals." My voice was barely above a whisper. She tried her best to smile, but it came out as a grimace. I kneeled to her bed side. She looked over at me. I felt her sprit starting to disappear. I could feel her dying. I could feel the pain she was in. I knew right about now, I was sharing her with death. The worst fucking part was that I had to bear to feel the love of my life die.

"I'm so sorry!" I blurted out before I could stop. She nodded, not having the strength to argue.

"It's not your fault. This one was all on me." Her head turned the other way. Her eyes closed. I knew from that moment on, my Thalia, was gone. I felt one lone tear run down my cheek.

I put on a fake ass smile. It's the hardest thing to do. It hurts so much inside, to even think about smiling in a world without her. So it's easily wiped off my face. Everybody asked how I am, I lie all the time. I say I'm alright, but I'm not. I can't ever show it though. A lot of them look at me with disapproving eyes. I'm the man who is known not to cry over his girlfriend's death. I'm the person who is known to be a son of Hades, yet am not trying to bring back the one I love. The thing is, if I allow myself to mourn properly. To cry, the tears will never stop coming down. I've also learned that the dead need to stay dead. They don't see how much it pains me not to bring her back. If I could, I would give my own life for hers, but I can't. It kills me slowly to know that. So, instead of arguing with them, I just ignore them. I ignore the whispers that I get when I walk by. I ignore the looks I receive. Nobody knows what's going on in my head. They don't realize I think everyday of all the ways I could kill myself. I mean, after all, it's my entire fault. I should have been there when she was fighting that ancient monster. If I could redo that day, I would take that poisoned knife for her. But the thing is I can't travel back in time, so I have to live with the guilt of being responsible for my girlfriend's death. So yes, they can whisper, they can talk about me, but they don't know what I'm going through.

You know, at times I get madder at Zeus then myself. Why couldn't he have taken pity on his daughter's soul once more? Why couldn't he have turned her into a tree again? Why did he even allow his daughter to get stabbed? I know the answer though; it was her time to go. Even though I wish every day that it wasn't.

It has been three weeks since she has died. It has been one week since I've eaten, and two weeks since I've slept. At times, it feels like I'm dieing myself, but then again, that's what I want. Is it not? So I think I will just keep going on like this. It makes me so unaware. It's so much easier to get through the day, being able to hang my head low, not feeling ashamed.

Today, I woke up realizing that it has been a month since she has died. It has also been ten years since Bianca died. And it has been almost 100 years since my mom died. The ironic part? Zeus killed all of them. I mean, what was the point of blasting my mom? Why let that war get that out of hand just because he was in denial? And why couldn't he have fucking pitted his daughter one last time? So today, when I feel the most alone, is the day I want to cry. I mean my mom, sister, and love, left me alone on the stupid earth. To live my life alone. So when I awoke, I cried one single tear for the three women who have left me. One hurting more then the rest. But I also believe, that lone tear drop came out black. When the sorrow sets that deep, there is no way it can be blue or clear. When there is that much anger in one person. That much resentment, that much pain, when you're this alone in the world, can it come out any other color?

So how did I do? I know this was OOC, but still…


End file.
